Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Oprah's sister's sister's problem.

The big O has a half-sister, and whats more Oprah was proud that the half sister "didn't contact the press, and she didn't try to sell her story." 
Isn't it funny that the FIRST thing Oprah did was publicy trot out a "secret" in an attempt to get the ratings for herself (she sold her story).
What a sell out; but we knew that.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The "Lord's Prayer".... I seriously hope not.

"Our Father"  Okay, you lost me right there, that is an assumption that to me borders on heresy right off the bat.  Who the hell are you assigning a sex to whatever is responsible for all that surrounds us.
"Who art in Heaven"  I thought god was everywhere, at all times.
"Hallowed be thy name"  and again with the assumptions.... you not only know that there is a god; but that it is a man and you know it's name... like you got introduced at a cocktail party or something.
"Thy Kingdom come... thy will be done; on earth as it is in Heaven"  God I hope not!  If I actually get to "heaven" and find it full of unjustifiable wars, strip malls, suburbs, SUV's, credit ratings and supermarkets I will try to terminate my eternal life...seriously, you want Heaven to be like Dallas?  Even worse, you think Dallas is Representative of heaven?  Custom home sites and gated communities, with office "parks" where people plan the collective using up of the planet to turn a profit for the quarter?
Seriously, Christians have a clear majority in the USA, and if they are "working for the lord" on a daily basis by going to work in missile factories, or the Pentagon, or strip mine operations then they obviously don't value Heaven that much.   Like other empty platitudes "done on earth as in heaven" is like "don't mess with Texas" ... just a saying, look at the garbage heap that is Texas.
"Give us this day our daily bread" ... how utterly Roman.
"and forgive us our debits, as we forgive our debtors"  our debts will not be forgiven at all, but will compound at 24.9% APR... our debtors will not be forgiven, but shall remain at large none the less.
"and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil" ... seriously?  Turn on the "Christian" TBN network sometime.... sitting on faux gold thrones, with too much makeup, and bad suits begging for money.  Sounds like being delivered to evil by temptation to me.
"for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever, amen."  Sounds like it was written for the Third Reich propaganda films...not to cover an ever loving and forgiving god's blessings.
maybe the "lord's prayer" needs to be thought about a little bit more, you know, updated something like:
"our loving god, who is everywhere, we don't even know your name, if there's a kingdom come, let it be better done, in heaven than it is on earth, forgive us this day the lifeforms we've abused, as we forgive our abusers, force us to lead ourselves in a manner less evil, for we don't know what your plans are... amen"

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Fuck Macy's

Six Months ago, in a moment of weakness, I said "yes" when offered to save 15% off my purchase to apply for a Macy's card.  Along with the appalling 24.9% interest rate came an even more appalling $6000 credit limit considering my income... I could find myself in serious trouble.  But what the heck, I can pay it off each month and get "Star Rewards"... whatever the fuck that is.
So today I got my first "Reward" in the mail... a coupon good for 20% off everything in the store* on whatever day I choose**
*Excludes all Everyday Values (EDV) Specials, Super buys, furniture, mattresses, rugs, floor coverings, housewares, cosmetics, fragrance, designer clothes, non designer clothes, shoes, bags, luggage, purses, jewelry, watches, flatware, dishes, pots and pans, electronics, linens, bedding, towels, appliances, small appliances, outerwear, intimate apparel, dresses, swimwear, sleepwear, belts, wallets and accessories, food, Crystal, nick naks, obj d' art, and store fixtures.
WHAT THE FUCK... I get 20% off what exactly?  the coupon went on to name a bunch of designers whom I won't name lest I get sued.... the coupon wasn't good on anything in the store.  So why bother to cut down a tree, print it up and mail it?  Why doesn't Macy's just say something when I step up to the register to the effect of "We would like you to know that we thought about giving you a discount, but decided not to."  it would save a tree, and a whole lot of money.
So I have a coupon of my own... it entitles Macy's to 20% of my annual income*  (*excludes money I earned, inherited, or was gifted) so that leaves Macy's with 20% of anything I might steal (I don't have opportunity... and if I did, I have no desire or energy to steal)  So that leaves Macy's with a worthless coupon ... and one less Macy's card holder.   Snip, Snip.... Fuck you Macy's.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Fuck Facebook

There's a reason why I didn't keep up with the people I went to High School and College with... just because I happened to share classes and dorms with all these people doesn't mean we had enough in common to sustain lifelong frienships... if we had, we wouldn't have "lost touch". 
After spending a fucking year reading about every bowel movement these assholes I went to school with have had I have decided that I have had enough, time to un-connect with my old friends and carry on with my life now. 
I don't need to know that you like Glenn Beck.. and you don't need to know that I hate him (and his viewers).  I don't care that you have a headache, or hangover, or are fighting with your boyfriend.  I don't care that you had spagetti for dinner, and your cat is at the vet.... I just don't give anymore of a flying fuck now, than before facebook came around to inform me.
The people I went to high school with are assholes... still after all these years, and I am sure they think the same of me, so goodbye Facebook.  Goodbye to your games that require ever expanding friend lists, good bye finding out my old english teacher has the runs.... goodbye stupid redhead twins who smoked everyone elses weed... I am sure you won't miss me at all, god knows I won't miss you either.